Month: January 2021

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Who Am I, Really?

carolyncordon

Wife, mother, poet, blogger, writer, dog lover, watcher of nature, editor, motivated community member, writing group President, and other things. These are the things I am, now. Fine things, things to be proud of, for sure..

But in my head are the things I’ve been. The past, the things that happen to us, they don’t just happen and then disappear. They remain, sometimes buried away below life’s flotsam and jetsam, but then that trigger hits you, and it comes back, and it’s like it’s right there again, even if only for a moment. But that moment can last for all of your lifetime.

So I’ve been a victim of child sexual abuse, and victim of sexual abuse as a young adult. I’ve been a worker in the Commonwealth Public Service, and before that a stablehand and strapper for my harness racing father. I’ve been a part time worker in a few varied jobs, I’ve been employed, interested, bored, confused, stressed out, and sacked.

Now, I’m proud of who I’ve been, even that job where I got sacked. I said the wrong thing, apparently, but gee, giving me free wine, what did they expect, if they can’t handle the truth, sheesh! That job gave me half a year of sleepless nights anyway, so I’m glad they sacked me. It as a shame the man who actually sacked me was a friend of my brother’s from many years previously.

What a way to completely crush a one time girlish crush that was! Moving out of our teenage years and into adulthood is a good thing, but when money takes over, softer feelings disappear, and the almighty dollar hardens emotion into a scabby little sore that will heal over, and disappear …

But today, I am something else, today I am an Inspirational Creative Writing Guru. That’s who I am today. Lots of days actually. Today I was told by a writing friend that something I posted on Facebook inspired her to do lots of writing, and she is thrilled with the words she has produced. I’m thrilled back at her about that.

Today I’ve also give a ‘critique’ on a poem a friend posted to Facebook, a fantastic poem that wrenched me in the guts, brought back unwanted memories, reminded me of things I’d love to get rid of, but know will be there, somewhere, until I die. Good writing can do that, and today I let that poet know how good her poetry is, how fantastic that poem was. I know she will go on writing gut wrenching poetry, it is inside of her, and her story is an important one.

Hidden away stories, the ones that can come out in this kind of poetry, if I can be involved in that kind of writing, the kind that can sometimes help to ease some of the pain of our terrible memories, being involved in these things is a terrible, beautiful, ugly and true thing. and again, if you can’t handle the truth, sheesh!

Many people have these kinds of things in their lives, and if they have someone in their lives who writes the tough stuff too, they can inspire that person to work through things, bring out their truth, share the pain, and sometimes some healing may come. I hope I can help people like this. I have had my own work, difficult things, published and I am glad to have done that, because I know how good it feels to share words with others who truly understand.

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Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual

carolyncordon

Four things, ways of being, of considering or doing things. They all have good things inherent in what they can bring to each of us, but there can be terrible things come as a consequence too.

Today I have done more, physically, than I usually do, with walking, and carrying things too. Mentally, I’ve had to thing about the best ways to do things, and offer my opinion about things getting done. Emotionally, I have been feeling very satisfied and also grateful about what I’ve been involved in doing today. Hmm, spiritually …

This is the one that has puzzled me a little, in life. I am not a religious person, not at all. I consider myself an Atheist, and Humanist and I love Nature a lot. But at what level of loving Nature might spirituality come into things? I believe in the science of Nature, not some God, not at all.

I find meaning in observing my pond, and listening to the birds, the wind and the fountain …

And I do good things for people when and if I can, and I am involved in my community too, doing various ‘good things’. I am a Stoic too, or do my best to have a Stoic attitude to life, and try to follow the words of the great Stoic Marcus Aurelius, as much as possible. I believe the best thing for us all, is to strive to be the best person, community member, and citizen we can be. Believing in Good, is that spiritual?

This is one meaning of Spiritual: Collins dictionary says, “Spiritual means relating to people’s thoughts and beliefs, rather than to their bodies and physical surroundings.” Hmm, yes, I can certainly say, on that definition, I could call myself spiritual. Some other, more New Age definitions say things about seeking, or having a deeper understanding of what ‘life’ is really all about, going further than the merely physical.

My own life has some limitations caused by the chronic illness I have lived with for over ten years. Multiple Sclerosis slows me down, and has at times been responsible for me having to slow down almost to a complete stop, such as the time last year that I tripped and fell, breaking my right ankle. There was noting to trip over, I just tripped. Again. This was the worst time.

When I was unable to do much at all, I spent a lot of time sitting around, right foot up, and resting. I also did quite a bit of thinking, and I actually wrote and had published a poetry collection, title ‘Angles on Ankles’. I the book, I don’t bemoan my awful bad luck, I just look at various things from a new perspective, relating to what it’s like to have a broken ankle.

I’ve sold copies of this book to others who have had broken ankles too, and they’ve loved my poems. I’ve also produced a book about sexual abuse, and child abuse in other forms too, as well as a memoir all about Multiple Sclerosis (MS). The sexual abuse book is titled ‘damaged children, Precious Gems’. The MS book title is ‘Mick Jane and Me, Living Well with MS’. All of these books are available for purchase, if you’re interested in having copies.

This is where you can request copies – books. The cost of these books is subject to change, and if you leave a comment here, we can discuss the possible cost. Basically, the costs for producing, and having printed the copies I have for possible purchase, have all been covered (paid for) already, and connecting with people is more important than the money side of things. Covering cost of postage, and a little bit more is usually enough.

So tell me why you’d like to have a copy, and I’ll send it to you, for not that much money at all. Is that a spiritual thing, perhaps, doing things for a greater good? Sharing words with others, making connections rather than cash, these are important things, money is merely a tool to do the things I want, and feel the need to do …

Anyway, that’s a bit about me, feel free to leave a comment, telling me a little bit about who you are, and what you thing, feel, believe. Personally, I believe that when I die, that’s it, I’m dead and all gone, apart from the people who remember me, and the things I did and said. That is enough for me.

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Take Inspiration Wherever You Find It!

carolyncordon

At the moment, on the second day of the first month of this new year, I am in the middle of putting together a brand new program for my life. One where I finally commit to, and actually do, something I’ve been edging around for many years.

And because I’m putting together something that I hope is going to be fantastic, I’m looking out for inspirational things, to help me get to my very best. So on Facebook today, I found something that spoke to me, talking out loud, and I knew I had to look further at it, so here I am, showing it to you, and writing about it.

My pool of Life is full, I’m ready to leap into it!

It was one of those things where if you look at a mixed up jumble of letter, and pick four, you will find your life’s purpose, or some such thing. I’m not really a great believer in these things, and usually I ignore them. But today, I didn’t ignore it, I looked, and found some words that connect very much with where I am right now in my life.

So, a magical thing? Or just a coincidence? I know which I think, you are welcome to take your own truth of it. But anyway, these are the words, and the comment I wrote on that Facebook post, when I saw it:
Power, purpose, change, breakthrough. Hell yeah, look out 2021, I’m here, and I’m ready!

That was the order I spotted those words in, but not the order of importance. Thinking about it, if I were to rank them, I would put Breakthrough and Change together, and Purpose and Power together. The importance of each is there, but linking them as I did, adds much to their meaning, and usefulness to my mind.

Power will come once I am travelling this path, and change is already happening. The breakthrough has hit, and it is knowing that right now, January 2021, is the time to stop pussy footing around, and get working to make it happen the way I know it has to. My purpose has always been there, it’s what I’ve been working with ever since I wrote my first book, my first poem even. My purpose is to write words and use them to connect with others, and add good things to their lives, and my own.

I am going to make 2021 a fantastic year for me, and those who are there with me. I will become the person I’ve been working at becoming for all of my life, the good things, the bad things, the awful things, and the painful ones. They’ve all come together right now, and I am going to be the ME I’ve always known I can be!

So yes, Facebook offered that inspiration to me, but it’s only important to me because my mind was ready to grab it and run, to make it my own. I can do this – 2021 will be the year I have Public Speaking engagements, and present writing workshops, as well as continuing with writing, and launch of the novel I’m currently working on.

Inspired by my life, looking out, looking in, there is so much there to give me further inspiration, it just keeps on adding and adding. I can do this, I’m ready. Hello world, I am here, are you ready, because I sure am!

I’m ready, are you?

I look out of my window and see beautiful things, I look at my dog, and see her beauty, I look at the life I have planned beginning right now, and what do I see? I see a great big bundle of Beautiful things happening!