Writing

We All Feel Guilt At Times

Guilt is a Human Thing

This is a blog I set up for myself as a writer, and now I seem to have stepped of that track or niche, that of a Writers blog. into the niche of the  New Age/Self Help realm. But fear not, there is method in my ‘madness’.

Guilt and being a writer are two subjects that go together well, with possible deadlines looming for publishers and your books, of for getting something written for a particular purpose, but you’ve spent untold time flaffing around on Social Media, yet again, instead of attended to actually writing something more than comments on somebody else’s ‘thing’.

Then you feel guilty, and hate yourself, and possibly seek solace in the comfort of a much loved blog, or website of some other writer’s. And after some thought, and possibly with reminders from someone else (a publisher wanting that manuscript you promised?), well then you get back to actually doing the writing you were ‘supposed’ to be doing.

But there’s the guilt happening, and surely feeling guilty is a bad and stressful thing, right? Actually, that is only true sometimes. Guilt is very much a human emotion. Animals don’t feel guilt. If you have a dog, and you feel it shows guilt, when you find out it has done a bad thing – eating something meant for the humans, or had an ‘accident’ inside, the dog looks up at you with those big brown guilty eyes, and you may forgive them.

But I don’t think that was guilt. Dogs are excellent at picking up human emotions, and that dog could see and feel your anger and disappointment, at what happened. Not guilty though, that hangdog face on the dog shows it is worried, not guilty. Dogs don’t like it when their owner is upset, they aren’t guilty though, worried about you being upset, or worried about what your actions may be, because they may have learned that when you act like that, they may end up getting a belting, so of course they’re worried.

This is an excellent little post on a website about this matter, I recommend you go have a look. The thing it shows adds to what I wrote about guilt, with a clever little experiment to prove the idea that dogs do not have guilt. They end the post with that silly thing about cats and dogs, where they say cats have staff, not owners, which was actually funny the first thousand times I read it, but hmm, not so much nowadays, but still …

 

Moving Back to Humans

Humans certainly can feel guilt, but that guilt isn’t always a bad and stressful thing. Taking it back to my wasting time on Social Media thing, when a writer (Me/I) wastes writing time of fluff and nonsense, they can hate themselves forever, or they can pull up their socks and get right back into getting that writing done. Books don’t write themselves, books need a writer to write them, before they can get published.

Beating yourself up with guilt, and not getting on to that writing asap won’t help at all. It may cause you stress, and stress is certainly not a good thing for anyone, whether they are writer or not. A stressed body is an unhealthy body, if we’re talking about mental stress. A stressed body, can become a body burdened with illness. Be careful of yourself, and stay away from bad stress!

Good stress, as that website post explains, can be beneficial though, so if you can use stress in good ways, excellent, well done, it may be the thing you need to get, and keep you on track with your writing!

 

A Happy Ending to the Story

So all of this can tell you that getting on with your writing instead of flaffing around online (or in other, non-productive ways), these things can cause guilt and stress. That guilt/stress dynamic can be a thing that breaks you down, or it can be a thing that makes you stand up tall and resolute, to get you right back on track with your writing!

20190505_114825And getting you writing written, surely that is a great thing if you are a writer! Buster the Dog, who lives inside my head, who has helped me write three dog-related books so far, he says ‘Woof!, get on with it Human, write those words, then take me for a walk!’

 

poetry

Ways To Make Yourself Feel Silly

Sometimes, I’m sure all of us do something to make ourselves feel silly. Whether community worker, writer, accountant, bar person, I’m sure every know and then, all of us do something we’d perhaps rather we hadn’t done.

I certainly can confess for doing silly things, things I wish I hadn’t done, in the past. And sometimes ‘in the past’ can be quite recent. I’m confessing right here, right now, that I did a regrettable and very ‘silly’ thing today.

I went to an excellent poetry workshop today, looking at the body, and poetic responses to the subject. The workshop was excellent, and the presenter, Chiara, was well worth listening to. This is the description for the workshop series:

‘Using the canvas of the human anatomy, explore how to personify and more genuinely connect with the most immediate part of our lives, our bodies. Pulling our focus and vision inwards, towards ourselves, and away from the cacophony of external, larger lens of global news and information. Using the personal stories and relationships we have with our own bodies, and pre-existing text from medical books, advertisements, and other media to creatively spark another way of thinking.’

I very much enjoyed this first session that I attended today, with many words written on the subject of ‘the body’ from a variety of different angles. My words were written on lines writing paper, placed in a blue folder, and the writing paper pad also had writing from my writing group from the precious Thursday.

Why am I talking about this, and how is this relevant? Well, I’m sorry to say that that blue folder, containing my notes from today’s workshop, and notes from last Thursday’s meeting didn’t make it home with me today. I arrived home this afternoon, when I realise I only had my handbag, and there was no folder, or notes. Boo, hiss!

Silly, silly, me.

I remember the general gist of what we did today, and hope I can write some more on the subjects we worked on today …

But honestly, sometimes I wonder whether I should be allowed on by myself! I’d had the fortethought to visit the ‘facilities’ before embarking on the long trip home, so congratulations to me for that, but I neglected to bring the folder with me, afterwards, I guess.

Ah well, all is not lost, fortunately, Chiara took photographs of some of the words written at the session today, including two of my own pages, so the words I wrote are not lost forever, hooray for that! This was a smart move on her part, and I am grateful to Chiara for that, for sure.

I don’t know whether these were fantastic words, but they were mine, and on a subject quite important to me, really, so hooray, anyway! Silly me, for sure today, but also poetic me as well, and I had a good session of poetry, with a group of other poets who were not my usual poets I did poetry with, some yes, but certainly not all. This is a good thing!

Mixing and matching, catching up with new people, in a new venue, these are good things. It’s easy to get too comfortable, catching up with the same crew, at the same place, every time …

Many thanks to the State Library for putting on this session, with the Poet in residence, Chiara Gabrielli!

Uncategorized

Writers Write and Sell Books!

I’ve just remembered something important, and possibly financially beneficial to me, (and to other writers). That thing is that if you write a book, and that book gets published, then you have something that other people might like to have, so you can see copies of your book to them. Well, der, right?

The actual selling (and marketing) of books is rarely foremost in the mind of a writer. Often, once a writer has finally written their book, and it is published, they will be deeply onto their next book, planning it, writing it, etc. Marketing their previous book is often far from their list of priorities.

But of course, if they want to pay their bills, so they can afford the food, and coffee, that helps get the current book written, then they need money … And selling books will bring them money, so they should pay attention to finding new homes for their books, it’s obvious really, isn’t it?

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Writers (and poets, bloggers, etc) can be shy and retiring folks, who hide away in their chosen writing nook, scribbling or tap. tap. tapping on the keyboard keys. They hide away from people, and work at getting their words written for their next book, article, poem, blog post.

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But I have put myself forward as a Public Speaker as well as being a writer, poet, blogger, so I am actively working to get the word out about me. And I take copies of my books with me, whenever I can, in case a wonderful person shows interest in purchasing a copy of any of my books I have copies of. In fact, the books are in the back of my car, so I have a travelling book shop for my own literary works!
This blog, that I started last year, is another method for bringing interest from others, in the books I have written, and have available for sale. If you look at the blog, you will see a link to My Book, and if you go there, you can read about my books and take steps to get in contact and purchase a book from me. Fun!

 

 

Uncategorized

When Writers Aren’t Writing

Being ‘a writer’ can be a weird thing to be. Sometimes when you are a writer, then yes, what you are doing is certainly writing. Sometimes that writing is actually the writing of a book, which would certainly be the first thought that would come to most people’s mind.

But if that were the only form of writing you think a writer does, then you are very much mistaken. For a start, many writers must actually earn a living, because their writing work may bring in little or no actual money. The average writer in Australia apparently earns a small amount of money, with only a few making big dollars …

Other writers have to have actual jobs, sometimes working full time, and having to do their writing in the gaps and cracks of time in their lives, on the weekend, late at night, early in the morning, or on holiday perhaps. Or they may (many do) earn other income from doing readings of their words, or writing related workshops, gigs at writing festivals and so on.

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These kinds of extra work can be fun for a writer, or they may be tedious distractions from doing the only thing they really want to do. Writers can be mixed in their attitudes to such things, and no particular attitude is inherently ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Writers do what they have to do, to keep having a roof over their head, and to eat, the same as everyone.

Other writing related roles may be journalism, or blogging. Blogs can be used to get your word out, and the writer can possible sell copies of their book or books on such online sites. Visiting institutions, such as schools, prisons, and a large variety of other places, doing public speaking gigs can be another sometimes well-paying options.

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So when writers aren’t actually writing books, they may be writing articles, or workshop plans, or writing submissions to those institutions offering themselves to do their ‘word work’ for the benefit/entertainment/learning of others possibly for payment, but usually at least for the selling of copies of their books.

And of course writers have to have things to write about, so they have to get out there and actually live a life! Meeting up with people, going out to cafes, playing sport, exploring, imbibing, seeing, climbing, walking, many many things are out there waiting for a writer to be involved in, think about, and then write about.

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Writers many of them, would say that even when they’re not writing, they’re still thinking about writing! Do you agree? I certainly do! Feel free to leave a comment, letting us know your own thoughts about writing and writers!

 

domestic abuse

Could Molly’s Life Mirror Courtney’s?

I began writing about Molly a little while ago, looking into and thinking on the life of a young woman, an angry, friendless, homeless woman, barely into adulthood, but with much life experience of the worst possible kind.

I was making it up as I went, based on vaguely heard new reports, some personal life experiences, and my own thoughts about these matters. Molly was slowly becoming a new person to me, as I wrote my short blog posts for this blog, one I’ve set up for myself as a writer.

I drew the picture of Molly’s face first, Screenshot 2019-05-17 at 5.52.43 PMand that image spoke deeply to a part of my heart, myself, and I felt connected to her, and her horrid life. And then, I heard of the awful murder of a young woman, Courtney Herron, and I shuddered. This young woman’s life could easily have been the life that my fictional character has been living.

Will I eventually write of a similar ending for Molly, could I do that to this character I have come to care about, even to love, or at least feel responsible for? What kind of life will I eventually give young Molly? Can I write her a happy ending? And even if I could do that, will I? I would certainly like to, but would that be honest?

I’ve been talking about Molly finding her lost smile, getting a better life, that allows her the permission and the ability to smile a real, happy smile, rather than the sneer that almost permanently mars her face.

Thinking about the death of Courtney Herron in Melbourne, beaten to death in a park is a reminder that reality is far from the fiction that is Molly’s life, even if there are similarities. So I’m pondering, what to do. Do I continue posting occasional posts about aspects of Molly’s life, or do I let it go, and turn my mind to other of my writing projects …

My own life continues on, in vastly different than Molly or Courtney face or faced. But I am a woman, I have lived at least some aspects of the lives of these two women, but not any of the more difficult aspects. I have a smile, a real and happy smile, and I have many things in my life to smile about.

I have a home, a partner, a loving and caring family, and many lovely friends who care about me too. I am not a Molly, I am not a Courtney. But I am a writer, and a person who cares about others, and if I can, I want to use my writing skills, to examine further, the lives of troubled people, in particular troubled women.

Something I’ve just written on Facebook seems relevant, at least in part, to these words. It relates to happiness, and is certainly something I have come to believe to be true. Our happiness is ours to look to, no-one else can make us happy. This is my Facebook comment in response to something I found and posted on my own Facebook page:

“All of us must bear responsibility for our own happiness, and only our own. Others must do the same, and realise their happiness cannot be dependant on others, it is up to all of us to look after our own happiness.”

The things people do, that isn’t what makes us unhappy, not directly. It is our response to the actions of others that makes us unhappy. Of course there are some actions of others that would be difficult to be happy about, that is certainly true. Being beaten by someone, that would be impossible to react happily too, unless you have an extremely twisted mind.

So, not all men are brutal attackers, not all young woman will face vicious attacks. These are good things, for sure,  but the truth is, some men, and at times but far less often some women too, attack others brutally. And both women and men may experience terrible and brutal violence from others. Life is not always ‘nice’ or ‘pleasant’. Life can be a terrible battle ground.

Surely it is up to us all, to do our best to ensure those around us are safe, and live peaceful lives, unharmed my the kinds of brutal actions I’ve mentioned in this post. We all have a desire, I’m sure, for a better life than that, for ourselves, and for those we love.  May we take actions to ensure such things go that way, and we all have easy lives, not difficult ones.