I had an accident today, and deleted all of the poems in the file n my laptop that is my poetry collection that I want to send off to a publisher soon. My intention is to have some other people read the collection, and give me feedback. If I couldn’t get give them the poems, they wouldn’t be able to do that. I wouldn’t be able to send it to a publisher, either.
I nearly freaked out, but I took a deep breath, got myself a calming (?) coffee and searched my laptop, for help. I found some of the relevant poems in emails I’d sent to myself, and that worked for finding some of them, and then, hooray, I found another copy of the file, on my laptop, an earlier one I’d emailed to our PC, to make a photocopy, that had almost all of the poems in it, phew!
When I say ‘I nearly freaked out’ it isn’t true, really. I did take a big breath, and get that coffee, but I would have looked calm to anyone present. I methodically considered my options, and worked away and cutting and pasting, taking poems from various places, and putting them in a new file.
Did my work with looking at Stoicism help me with this? Hmm, I think it may have. I felt quite calm, once the initial ‘oh no!’ feelings calmed down. Once I was sitting again, coffee and laptop present, I worked at it all afternoon, and got it done. I went outside, let the dog out and back in, and she and I both had lunch, but I did a good afternoon of work on it.
Missy slept through most of it, she’s calm like that, most of the time!
It was an interesting chance to look at these poems again too. I did some editing, making several of the poems better, and I added two new poems, and took out two other poems that I felt were too weak. So this ‘disaster’ was actually a good thing after all. I will remember that, and keep calm and work methodically if I ever need to work like this again!
This laptop is still new to me, and I’m very much in the learner stage with it. Using the home PC is easier for me, but of course, I can’t take my PC with me anywhere, and I can’t sit on the sofa with the PC comfortably on my lap!
So now that I have the poetry collection put together in the one file on my lap top, and the other copy there too, marked as Do not delete, it should all be fine. I’ll send that document to the PC tomorrow, and then hand that hard copy on for the review of others.
I’m so glad I found those versions, that’s for sure. And I think this collection is looking far more publishable than my most recent one, that was rejected. When I looked at it again, once I was over the hurrumphing angst of rejection, I could see that it was a bit of a mess, with little to say. Some of the poems were ok, but that isn’t enough, just some …
In this new collection, all of the poems have interesting things to say, and they blend together in good ways, in my opinion. I hope my readers will back up my thoughts on that, and if they don’t, that they will be able to give me pointers about where any failings are.
Giving a poetry collection to others feels like giving your newborn to a stranger, in some ways, but of course, that is something that all writers have to do, if they want to have their words read. And only a strange kind of writer wouldn’t want to be read by others, surely?
What do you think? About having readers before sending off to a publisher, and about how it feels to let your ‘babies’ go? Please leave a comment, if you have something to say about this!
Carolyn Cordon - Creative 