In these troubling and almost surreal times, I’m finding myself thinking about death, which would be fine, if the deaths were of characters in the Cosy Murder Mystery I’m supposed to be writing. But the deaths are not fictional deaths of some characters in my work-in-progress ‘Winds of Death at Talloola’, instead the deaths are real deaths, as the total of deaths from Covid 19 rise, and rise, and rise …
And there was a death in our house recently, one not caused by plague, but in response to something that sometimes becomes plague-like. It was a mouse, a not yet fully grown mouse, that made the mistake, as mice too often do, of coming into my house, my kitchen, and falling victim to our range of mouse traps.
This mouse fell victim to not just one, but two traps, both at once, and while it pains me, it is also good that it was trapped, and will never again invade my kitchen, possibly spreading disease … I’ve taken the mouse out of the traps, and released the body back to Nature, where other creatures will welcome the carcass, as much as I definitely didn’t welcome the living creature.
Mice are cute as pets, I suppose, but I don’t want them in my house.
There was another death too, this one caused entirely by me, and the guilt I feel is magnified by the esteem in which I hold the creature I killed. I was driving home from a needed visit to pick up something, and a quick visit to see my mother. The car I was driving has cruise control, and I was cruising along, on cruise control, when I saw this creature, but I didn’t slow down quickly enough, and crashed into the magnificent owl standing on the road, too close to where I was headed.
Crash, bang, an explosion of white feathers, and another owl fell victim to man’s most dangerous weapon, the motor vehicle … I’ve looked at some photographs and from what I’ve seen, it was quite likely an adolescent Barn Owl, out at the wrong time, and in the wrong place. There is a little less traffic out and about at the moment, but it only took one car to kill this magnificent bird. My car.
My heart aches, but that is nothing compared to the destruction of this bird’s life … There was going to be a poem written about this, but I am still too shaken about what happened to write that poem. It may remain inside my head forever, and I hope, may make me even more careful, when I drive. Cruise control is great, but I must be the one doing most of the ‘control’, and slow down when I need to …
The Barn Owl is a common bird, all around the world, but that doesn’t lessen this particular owl’s importance. To say I’m sorry is an understatement, but my sorrow, while comforting to acknowledge, does nothing to bring back the life of this bird … I can spread a little knowledge about the bird, and encourage other drivers, as well as myself, to be aware of all of the living creatures on and around the roads, when we are driving, human, animal, and particularly confused owls, who would have been safe at home in their nesting place, not standing on the road in the mid afternoon …
Some information about these owls : https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Owl/id
Life, in these times of Covid 19 virus-driven deaths, feels even more precious than ever.
Carolyn Cordon - Creative 
I think that poem needs to be written, Carolyn just as my poem ‘Shame’ did. Such poems are cathartic otherwise the pain grows inside and the barn owl deserves a sort of send-off. I think such a poem will clear the air for you
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Hmm, an interesting thought John. I’ll see how I go, thinking further about it. Owls are such amazing creatures, they really do seem wise, far beyond any thoughts of ‘bird brains’. And since we had that owl in our shed, and before that, they are of great interest to me. I wish we had an owl that lived permanently around our place, and it helped to keep our property clear of those pesky little rodents!
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you could also write an ode: a poem in praise of barn owls; one poem, the threnody could provide contrast and counter balance to the other, the ode. The two poems would make a fascinating duet of voices 🙂
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Now that I’ve looked up the meaning of the word ‘Threnody’, I can see reasons why this idea may work, John. I don’t like the crass and constant focus on ‘Closure’, that actually seems more like simply wanting to be forgiven, no matter what one has done, with no guarantee of better behaviour in the future.
I’ll see what I can do, and many thanks for the new poetic form. I’ve heard or at least seen the word before, but didn’t know what it meant. I’ve looked it up, and now know.
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I agree; I’m glad you said that: I’ve not seen that thought expressed before
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This seeking closure’ thing has been on my mind for a while now. It’s like the idea that once you find closure, life is back to normal, but the things that are the most important ideas, in times of trouble, grief and facing responsibilities, these are huge, ongoing things. Grief doesn’t get wiped out after you’ve been through a trauma, it merely becomes easier to live with, it’s still there. My older brother has been dead for 26 years, but I still mourn for his loss. It isn’t a constant thought in my mind, but it’s still there.
I’m sure many of us hold similar thoughts in our minds, it’s the human condition. Things happen deal with them in various ways, and try to keep on living life, in various levels of success.
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